Worst part of a European vacation?

…definitely the large men who insist on wearing tiny swimming essentials. Despite the sight, we’d still be totally up for taking this cruise to Turkey.

(by Kerry)

Are Segways the new fanny packs?

We probably can’t answer that question in a few sentences, but we can say that riding one of these is equivalent to having “I’m a tourist” etched into your forehead (right below where the helmet is). But who are we to judge, if it makes you happy to get around town by driving this awkward piece of equipment, then go for it.

(by Mrs. Margaret)

• more D.C. segways
• and  some in Austin

Fanny Pack of the Week!

Subways are shakey but there’s no reason to look like you’re sliding down the pole stripper style. For most of us, keeping the balance with one hand is enough…unless there’s a huge fanny pack (and camera bag) weighing us down.

(by specialkrb, who adds “she kept calling her husband Papa Bear — he’s the sullen looking one sitting down and sporting a Hawaiian shirt.” 

 

Lost and annoying, but still riding

As you can see, Austin is definitely not a city that’s best viewed on Segways. But are there really cities that are? And would it be that hard for tourists to just rent a damn bike instead of clogging up streets and further pissing off the locals…

(taken by Kerry from Passive Aggressive Notes)

Malibu Ken comes to life

Ryan noticed this nice tourist man and took his pic while on his Washington D.C. metro commute. After all, there’s nothing better than grabbing your pink plastic backpack and dashing off to see the Cherry Blossoms (along with the other billion tourists).

Trekking down to Wall Street

Don’t ask us (or James who took this pic on his cell) what these tourists were doing. Spotted walking down Wall Street along side the suits, it wasn’t super obvious where in Manhattan she was planning to hike. Is there some undiscovered mountain among the bank buildings? Or was she just planning to poke people out of her way? If you’ve got a guess about WTF was going on — let us know.

Real tourists visit Spam trucks

Spam never really interested us — eating it felt about as natural as popping two pills of Viagra. But even though Spam has been known to draw out vomit, the colorfully-branded truck of the canned processed meat remains a tourist attraction. Check out the excitement on the face of the pink-vested tourist while he’s awaiting his turn — we’d only crack that kind of smile if we were offered a pot brownie.

(by Bill Burke who’s had the pleasure of spotting this retro yet processed-food promoting vehicle)

Your tour group hates your husband

In the spirit of the upcoming St. Patrick’s Day, we bring you this annoying green-hatted man who was “hell bent for those images,” wrote Kathe Worsley. But while he’s touring South America, we think his wife should arrange for a kidnapping and put the entire tour bus out of its misery.

 

Trapped in Versailles

Apparently, those who are too tired from seeing the Palace of Versailles and it’s giant surrounding gardens by foot can pack in like sardines in order to get to the other side. Cform (who snapped the pic) calls them “canned tourists” adding that they missed “a 10-minute walk through the most beautiful garden parks you’ve ever seen.” We bet King Louis XIV (the original occupant) wouldn’t be caught dead in this ugly thing.